“How do we like to be treated?”

“How do we like to be treated?” read on..

The Right Thing 101 By John C Maxwell

A few years ago, I published a book called Ethics 101. In it, I proposed that ethics was not a changeable thing, based on your situation or personality or industry. Instead, I explained that I believe that ALL ethics boils down to one thing: The Golden Rule.

Essentially, asking the question, “How would I like to be treated?” is an integrity guideline for ANY situation.

Think about it: How DO we like to be treated?

1. We want to be valued.

Did you know that in the American marketplace today, 70% of those who leave their jobs do so because they do not feel valued? Don’t you want others to accept you for who you are and show you through their actions that you matter?

Valuing others, not for what they can do but simply because they are human beings, is the foundation of ethics.

2. We want to be appreciated.

Closely related to the need to be valued and loved is the desire to be appreciated for what we can do. Don’t you want to excel and achieve? Knowing that what you do matters builds your self-confidence and self-worth.

How do we express appreciation? Begin by thanking people at every opportunity. Give credit to others. And make a point of praising people in the presence of those close to them, like family members. Broadway producer Billy Rose shrewdly observed, “It’s hard for a fellow to keep a chip on his shoulder if you allow him to take a bow.”

3. We want to be trusted.

George MacDonald said, “To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.” Think about it: Good marriages, business relationships, and friendships all require trust. Without it, you don’t have open and honest communication, and the relationship can be only temporary.

It takes a leap of faith to put your trust in another person, especially someone you don’t know well. But as Henry L. Stinson said, “The only way you can make a man trustworthy is by trusting him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.”

4. We want to be respected.

When others trust me, I receive responsibility and authority. When others respect me, it touches something deeper within me. It gives me dignity and builds my confidence. As Arnold Glasow said, “The respect of those you respect is worth more than the applause of the multitude.”

The respect of a leader gives people the freedom to perform at their best and the incentive to work with excellence. I can’t think of a more positive working environment.

5. We want to be understood.

Charles Kettering said, “There is a great difference between knowing and understanding. You can know a lot about something and not really understand it.” Likewise, we can know a lot about a person and still not really understand them or why they do what they do.

But the desire to be understood is so strong that many disagreements can be resolved simply when one party (or both) gets the sense that they’ve been understood.

Understanding others means extending yourself and meeting them where they are. You must put the burden of connecting on yourself, not on them.

6. We don’t want others to take advantage of us.

We can cut through almost all of the ethical and moral dilemmas of life by observing this principle with others. If anyone could interpret what I do as taking advantage of them, then my actions are probably a bad idea.

What do you think of the needs listed above? Did I miss anything? And just for the sake of discussion, let me pose a question you can answer in the comments:

Describe a situation in your past in which a person in authority expressed value, appreciation, and respect for you. Why does that instance stand out to you? How did you respond?

Find more on ethics for all areas of life in Ethics 101.

—————–

John C. Maxwell is an internationally respected leadership expert, speaker, and author who has sold more than 19 million books. Dr. Maxwell is the founder of EQUIP, a non-profit organization that has trained more than 5 million leaders in 126 countries worldwide. Each year he speaks to the leaders of diverse organizations, such as Fortune 500 companies, foreign governments, the National Football League, the United States Military Academy at West Point, and the United Nations. A New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Business Week best-selling author, Maxwell has written three books that have sold more than a million copies: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, Developing the Leader Within You, and The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader.

Do we need to set standards?

Do we need to set standards? Definitely, why? Read on..

(note: it’s interesting to learn some insights from a man’s point of view. )

How to Set Standards by Sean Patrick Si

We all have standards in life. You and me. Some of your standards could be that you don’t want to live at your parent’s house forever, some could be that you want to take a bath twice a day, etc. There are lots of different kinds of standards that we have set – conciously and/or unconsciously.

Where do we get our standards?

Our standards don’t just pop into our heads like an idea. It is made and formed out of lifestyle. Simply put, we get our standards from wants and don’t wants.

We see the lives of other people. We see the lives of our parents, our siblings, our friends. We see the lifestyles of each and every person we meet and know – and from there we then come to a realization of what we want out life to be. You can say that we compare and measure the lives we want with the lives we’re seeing and experiencing now.

There are different kinds of standards:

Some standards you can let go of

These are the standards that you’ve set before you thought about it thoroughly. These are the standards that need changing and that can be improved. These are the standards that you can improve on or that you can leave behind in order to adopt a new one.

For example: You were brought up to always head straight to breakfast. Someone told you to first wash your hands before doing so – you change your standard and now you decide to wash your hands before every meal.

Some standards you keep

These are the standards that are instilled in you. You’ve created and protected these standards with reasoning, belief and decision.

For example: You always pray and read God’s Word after you wake up and before you sleep.

Some standards you have to die for

These are the standards that you believe in with all your heart. These are the standards that you will never let go of no matter what the reason.

For example: Your standard of refusing to deny Christ as your Lord and Savior.

What are the standards today?

I believe that we lack standards in our time today. The world teaches you that standards are a barrier for growth and understanding. The world tells you that having no standard is okay – that way you’re flexible and are true to yourself.

These are all lies.

If you do not have a standard, you’re not becoming more flexible. You’re becoming weak. Without your own standards, the world will set it for you. And the world’s standards will sooner or later destroy your life.

I see a lot of men today without standards – even ‘Christian’ men. Most of them have standards so low that they sit on it and are humming their lives away comfortably. They don’t want to marry because it’s a hassle. They don’t want to work because they can live off with what their parents have anyway. They play computer games all day because they’re good at it. They want sex but they don’t want the committment of marriage. And they think they’re ‘real men’.

Ladies, don’t set your standards low as to settle for men like these. Set your standards high too because real Christian men still exist in this world. You are worth the wait and God will be the one to put him through your way.

Where do you find the right standards?

Where do we look for standards? Do we search for it in friends? Maybe. Do we look for it from billboards? From books perhaps?

The first place to look for your standards is from the creator and designer of your life. He’s laid it all out in His Word. The standards we have to live in come from the Bible. Who would better know the rules and standards that are best for us than the one who created us?

Set your standards

Real men set their standards high – so high that they need to push themselves to jump in order to reach it.

——-

Sean Patrick Si – A Blogger and editor-in-chief of God and You and SEO Hacker. He is dedicated to sharing his faith and wisdom and God to the online community.

Mindanao Leaders Convergence 2010

Mindanao Leaders Convergence 2010

We had a powerful, inspiring and life-changing time last October 29 and 30, as 160 student leaders from our churches in the region got connected, equipped and empowered not only to make disciples but also live a life of character that pleases God.

With lessons that tackles Calling, Character, Competence and Chemistry, our LifeBox National Team composed of Pastor CJ Nunag, Chryso Fajardo, Maya Reynoso and Babes Bato successfully launched the new face of Regional Leaders Convergence at this year’s host, Victory Davao.

Pastor CJ started it off with a foundational truth that everyone has been called by God. And the first calling is a call to Jesus - a call to have a relationship with Him. Jesus called the first disciples to Himself (Matthew 4:19). He is calling us to have a personal relationship with Him. The point was Christianity is all about – Jesus.  (Jesus period.) And so everything about life revolves around Him. So when we say we love Him, our actions and the way we live our lives should show that. Then followed by a lesson on the importance of character, by Pastor Peds of Davao. We’ve learned this - The more we follow Jesus, the more His character is built up in us.

During the evening, the Campus Mixer, dedicated in creating synergy and connection between student leaders was filled with fun and fellowship. The highlight was the time of worship. God’s presence really ministered to everyone. An altar call was also given, in response to God’s call  for those who feels like there’s a call to go on full time campus ministry work. It was encouraging to see that around 60 students responded to that call. We ended by praying for one another and for the campuses in the region of Mindanao.

Day 2:  Pastor Jerry of Zamboanga and Pastor Job of Cagayan de Oro shared about competence.

King David, learning from his life, had integrity of the heart and skillful hands. Pastor Jerry made a point that integrity is having the right heart to do the right thing. On the other hand, Pastor Job learning more from David, emphasized that he (David) was an ordinary man, just like us, called by an extraordinary God to do extraordinary things for Him. He was called to leave a mark, and God is calling us too, not just to live but leave a mark in our generation.However, before David was able to experience God’s calling for him, he went through a process of testings to mold his character and faith. Thus making a point that, skills will come when we don’t quit the process. Hence, it gave us a deeper appreciation on the trials we face as God’s way of training us for a greater calling.

And Pastor Joppet of General Santos finally nailed the importance of chemistry as we fulfill God’s call for us. He shared about the importance of teamwork, and insisted that only by working together we could achieve our goal - every campus in every nation.  And ended with an encouragement that we have a great team because we are part of the Team Jesus.

The session also included some “break-up sessions,” where we were able to interact more and learn from one another.

Regional Leaders’ Convergence focuses on leadership development of our students, equipping them with lessons that will hone their skills and character in a higher standard.  Elevating students’ conviction to a higher call is the answer to the growing need of our churches as more complex youth groups and cultures are formed inside the campus walls.  The school’s landscape has definitely changed with the birth of new forms of social media and technology, which greatly affects the perspective, and formation of our youth today.

Are you whole?

Are you whole?

I’ve been reading the book, Climbing the Ladder in Stilettos by Lynette Lewis.  She discussed something that made me ponder and reassess myself – about personal wholeness. And it made me think, ‘Whoa! Am I whole?’

Being whole is defined as:

• complete, including all parts or aspects, with nothing left out;
• not damaged or broken;
• not wounded, impaired, or incapacitated;
• healed or restored to health physically or psychologically

“When we are whole, we are complete, secure and resilient in almost any circumstances.”

So are you whole or still a wounded being? She discussed some contrast…

Wounded people display the following common signs:

• are easily offended and carry offenses for a long time
• are critical and talk negatively about themselves and others;
• have an insatiable need to be regularly affirmed and built up;
• refer often to themselves and their achievements, to the point of being embarrassing at times
• react in illogical ways that produce anxiety in others;
• are easily angered;
• form social cliques and gossip about others;
• are overly consumed with taking care of everyone else, shutting down their own pain and focusing only on others; and
• use various addictions (cigarette, alcohol, spending money) as a salve.

In contrast, people who are whole display the following signs:

• find it easy to affirm others and celebrate their successes;
• are not easily offended but offer grace when offenses do happen;
• bring comfort and encouragement to those around them;
• are goal-oriented, but their care for people always wins out over the bottom line;
• seek first to understand and then to be understood
• are trusting, believing the best in others; and
• are modest and honest about theirs strengths and shortcomings

It’s easy to just go with the motions of life, and neglect some important aspects of it. One of which, is our relationships around – friends, colleagues, family, parents, siblings, etc. However, if we want to continue in the journey of finding what we are created to do, we need to look closely and see how we are doing in this area. And she nailed one aspect that I believe we need to consider if we want to enjoy growing, healthy, and lasting relationships around us – that is, personal wholeness.

Some things I’ve learned:

- The process of getting honest with our own pain and hurts, acknowledging the wrongs done to us, and admitting our own mistakes begins to forge a path to personal wholeness.

- When we choose not to be easily offended, when we take the time to understand or give others the benefit of the doubt, it opens up all kinds of doors and builds respect and trust.

- “Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing himself.”

- As healed and emotionally healthy individuals, we can be resilient – even encouraging – when encountering those who are broken.

- Whether we suffer from intimacy issues or another type of brokenness, dealing with the root causes is our first step to personal wholeness.

If that’s the case, how do we become personally whole?

Steps to personal wholeness:

1. Start with yourself

- Take an honest look at your life and relationships.

- Admit your brokenness and take steps to deal with it. Rather than adjust your entire life around the broken leg, go in for “surgery”

- ‘There is no denying that the journey to personal wholeness is a risk – but, oh, is the potential reward worth it.’

- Once a broken leg is healed, not only can you walk normally again, but you can run, leap, skip and climb. Most important, you can lead others down a similar path.

2. Become an agent of wholeness

- As a whole person, you will have new levels of compassion and understanding.

- You will see others through a lens that reveals deeper, nonthreatening reasons people do the things they do. You will see beyond their behaviors and develop the capacity to show mercy instead of judgment.

3. Speak only positive things about others

- ‘Treat other the way you would want them to treat you.’

- Mastering to hold your tongue may take some time, but the rewards have been wonderful.

4. See your workplace as a practice field for greatness.

- ‘It may feel awkward or seem impossible to break out of these patterns and bring change. But if you do, you will feel new energy and life coming into your work.’

- Whole people in the workplace are so rare that if you become one, you will be amazed at how many opportunities open up for you as people recognize that you bring people together instead of tearing them down or apart.

Like the author, I now desire and aim to become someone who is patient and understanding, who is utterly trustworthy, and who cares much more about people than about processes or results. Someone who believes in potential and possibilities, who cheers others on to become all they are meant to be.

How about you? Will you take the challenge?

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” Romans 14:19

Lessons on Relationship (Part 3)

Lessons on Relationship (Part 3)

6. The Art of Loving Confrontation

Jesus took time to lovingly confront people when they needed it – his disciples, the religious leaders, and the crowd.

We all have blind spots – things about us that we don’t see. We need others to show us these areas and help us to grow and change. The apostle Paul tells us to learn to ‘speak the truth in love’ to one another (Eph.4:15). We all need truth-tellers. The truth can set us free. Some people speak the truth but not in a loving manner while others are so loving that they never speak the truth.

We all need to be lovingly assertive, when appropriate. Avoid being overly assertive which leads to aggression. Avoid being under-assertive, allowing people to walk all over you.

Confrontation is not easy. In fact, it can be very difficult. We all fear being disliked. We may be afraid of making things worse. However, usually it is the attitude in which you confront that makes things worse, not the confrontation itself. We may fear rejection. We may find it difficult to share our feelings. We may think that confrontation will destroy love and trust. Actually, if done correctly, confrontation can build more love and trust into the relationship.

We can confront without hurting. We must not hang on to our anger and hurt. We need to take responsibility for our feelings. Share your feelings and thoughts honestly and openly. Always seek to maintain the relationship. Have the courage and the consideration to confront lovingly.

Assertiveness and confrontation always need to be done with the right spirit. We should not be either overeager or too hesitant to confront. We should confront, not because it makes us feel good, but because we are committed to the quality of our relationships. Confronting with the right spirit comes out of having the right goal in your confrontation.

Is there someone you need to have an open and honest conversation with? Don’t leave it any longer. Ask God for wisdom to speak the truth in love … as soon as you can. I think you’ll be glad you did.

7. The Art of Encouragement

Jesus was a great encourager. He was always lifting people up and inspiring them towards God’s purpose for their lives. We see this in the Gospels but also in the book of Acts where Jesus appears to Paul in a dream or vision a number of times to encourage him during times of pressure and difficulty.

Most of your best friends are those who encourage you. You don’t have many strong relationships with those who pull you down. You avoid these people and seek out those who believe in you and lift you up.

Everyone needs and responds to encouragement. People do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism. Encouragement brings out the best in people. The way to truly motivate and develop people is through encouragement and through believing in them. People tend to become what the most important people in their lives think they will become.

Encouragement helps us rise above difficult situations. Words of encouragement have great power. Trouble and trial don’t destroy people, only the lack of care and encouragement during those times. When it is there, it gives us the energy to go through.

Here is what the author of the book of Hebrews says …

Heb.10:24-25. Make opportunities to encourage others by meeting together, consider ways in which you can encourage and continue doing it.

Who can you encourage today?

Lessons on Relationships (Part 2)

Lessons on Relationships (Part 2)

4. The Art of Authenticity

Jesus was a very transparent person. He let his friends see him as he really was – in moments of joy, sadness, anger, and fatigue. His followers never had to guess whether he was delighted or disappointed. He modeled deep disclosure to a few trusted friends. Read this slowly …

Matthew 26:36-38. Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” NIV

The apostle Paul also modeled a life of transparency and authenticity. He was real and was willing to take off any masks to let people see who he really was and how he was going (see 2 Cor.6:11).

Who knows your needs? Who do you ask to pray for you? Who do you let see your brokenness -your weaknesses and struggles?

Share your life with others. Don’t hide. Never pretend to be more than you really are.

This is not easy as our culture is into “image projection” and “impression management”. We have a strong tendency to hide and to want to look better than we really are. However, when we hide, our relationships become stagnant and we lose the help and support that may be available to us. There is no healing in hiding, only in authenticity (see James 5:16).

A while ago, I had lunch with influential church leader. He asked me how I was doing. I hesitated at first … then decided to answer honestly rather than the typical “Great!” or “Awesome!” The depth of our conversation immediately changed. He thanked me for my openness. Sadly, he admitted to going through the same type of emotional low that I had been going through but he never had the courage to tell anyone.

Think about it: the level of intimacy or closeness in any relationship or group is directly related to the level of openness in that relationship or group.

Be open, honest and real. Share how you are really doing. Yes, we need wisdom and discernment in this area and trust is essential. We all need ‘safe people’ in our world who really know us – warts and all. Of course, not everyone knows how to respond to our openness (the disciples fell asleep after Jesus opened his heart to them and asked for prayer support!). It can feel a little awkward at first. However, make a choice to allow others to minister to you. Learn to receive.

5. The Art of Forgiveness

Jesus made a choice to forgive those who nailed him to that cross – even though they never asked for it. That’s amazing, yet forgiveness is such an important keep in connecting with other people.

Many of the people we connect with will be different than us. Yet, often these kinds of relationships provide the opportunity for us to grow and develop the most. They draw us out of our comfort zones and stretch our loving capacity.

There is no greater challenge in building community than to master the art of handling anger and conflict. We all know what it is to have other people annoy and irritate us, as well as hurt us deeply.

Jesus gives us some practical steps for resolving conflict (see Matthew 18:15f). This is one of the most well-known teachings of Jesus but probably the most disobeyed. He tells us to go the person who has offended us and do our best to sort it out with them alone. If it doesn’t work out, then we should involve someone else who can help. Jesus wants us to be serious about forgiveness.

When you’ve offended someone, be quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness. That’s a mark of maturity.

Of course, forgiveness is not the same things as reconciliation, which may or may not happen, depending on the situation.

Forgiveness is giving up the right to hurt back or get even. Eventually, you can even find yourself wishing the other person well.

Lessons on Relationship (Part 1)

I personally believe that our purpose in life  is found in the context of relationships. Hence, we must nurture and take care of it, because apart from it, there can be no life at all.

Here’s a repost from Mark Conner‘s blog that helped me rethink and assess my relationship with others.

Lessons on Relationship (Part 1)

In order for us to connect or relate effectively with other people, we need to learn some important skills. These skills can help us as we connect with other people with our families at home, with co-workers in the workplace, and in small groups and serving teams at church.

1. The Art of Acceptance

Jesus had an amazing ability to accept people – all people, just as they were, ‘as is.’ He treated every person as if they were very important – even those despised by others in his culture, such as beggars, women, and children. He placed a #10 on everyone.

Don’t be like the Pharisees who only accepted people who were like them. Everyone else they kept at a distance. Their attitude was ‘change and then you can come and hang with us’ while Jesus’ approach to all people was ‘come as you are and let my grace change you.’

The apostle Paul tells us to accept one another in the same way that Christ accepts us (Rom.15:7). How did Christ accept us? He loved us and died for us while we were still his enemies and living in a life of sin. He didn’t wait for us to get our act together before he reached out to us. We are to do the same for others.

The second great commandment is to ‘love our neighbour as ourselves.’ We all want to be accepted. Let’s do the same for others. Learn how to accept people as they are. Everyone wants to feel worthwhile. People want to feel important.

Of course, acceptance does not mean approval of someone’s behaviour. Acceptance is not the same as tolerance. Jesus was a ‘friend of sinners’ without condoning their sin. It is an act of the heart that shows a person’s value and worth.

How do you approach people – with a smile or a frown, with a sense of acceptance or rejection? Be on guard so that you don’t become a stone-thrower with judgmental thoughts, a superior attitude, impatient words, bitter resentments, and little room for love. Let go of condemnation and judgment. Genuinely accept others … just as they are.

2. The Art of Listening

Jesus was a person who had so much to say, yet he was a great listener. He was always asking questions. In doing so, he drew people out and got to know them and helped them get to know themselves.

Relationships are built on communication and communication is built on good listening skills. Listening is one of the greatest ways to communicate love and value to another person. It helps you understand people and it earns you the right to be heard.

James tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak, which is the opposite of our human nature (James 1:19-20).

Unfortunately, we all develop poor listening habits such as inattentiveness (through being preoccupied, lack of concentration, or distractions), interrupting (finishing people’s sentences for them, just waiting your turn to speak, jumping to conclusions), and advice giving.

Good listening habits include: being attentive (making eye contact, concentration, giving verbal cues), seeking to understand, and asking questions.

Love pays attention. Love means being fully present with a person, concentrating not just on their words, but the meaning and feelings behind the words.

Pay attention … it is the most valuable currency we have.

3. The Art of Empathy

Jesus had an amazing ability to see a person’s heart and their deepest needs – to understand things from their perspective. He could look beneath the surface of the matter (external) and see a person’s heart (internal). He modeled the art of empathy.

Pay attention to people. Look beyond their words to what is happening on the inside. Slow down and stop talking. Listen. Observe.

Place all of your energy in seeking to truly understand the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Try to understand the words and the implied message. Use your free mental time to observe, concentrate and evaluate the message. When you listen, you learn.

Listen to nonverbal messages. Many messages people send are communicated nonverbally by their tone of voice, their facial expressions, their energy level, their posture, or changes in their behaviour patterns. You can often tell more from the way a person says something than from what is said.

You understand others by getting inside of them and seeing life from their perspective, through their eyes. This involves a tremendous amount of communication – of asking, sharing and listening. Seeing life through someone else’s eyes gives us a totally different perspective. It is so easy to judge and to make wrong assumptions about people. When we truly seek to understand, we learn and we grow.

Here’s a good exercise – select a relationship in which things are not going too well right now. Try to understand the situation from the other person’s point of view. If you were in their shoes how do you think you would be feeling or thinking? In your next interaction, listen for understanding, comparing what you are hearing with your reflections. How valid were your assumptions? Did you really understand that person’s perspective?

Misunderstanding is usually at the heart of most relational pain. It often takes time to rebuild trust and help people feel safe enough to open up again. Practice the art of empathy today.

Need to watch what we say…

THE POWER OF WORDS by Jenn Punzalan

A few days ago, one of my children had an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration (in short, a tantrum, haha) and kept on putting herself down with words like “I have no purpose… Why did God have to create me?… I’m stupid…” When she finally calmed down and apologized for her outburst, I brought her attention to this article I came across with months ago that showed the incredible power of our words.

The Power Of Words Over Water

Can water be affected by our words? Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese scientist, believes so. And he has proof.
Dr. Emoto took water droplets, exposed them to various words, music, and environments, and froze them for three hours. He then examined the crystal formations under a dark field microscope. And he took photographs.

The results were totally mind-blowing.
Here’s a photo of ordinary water without any prayer spoken over it. The molecular structure is in disarray.

The photo below is water after the prayer was said. It’s simply breathtaking.

Next, Dr. Emoto stuck a piece of paper with these words: “You make me sick. I will kill you.” Here’s how the frozen water droplets looks like under the microscope…

Below is how water looked like with the words “Love” over it. The difference is amazing.

Wait A Minute—
Aren’t You Made Up Of Water? Yes! 72% of your body is made up of water.
Imagine how your words affect your own body. When you say, “I’m a failure,” or “I’m hopeless,” or “I won’t get well,” imagine how these words weaken your health. Make a choice to say the best words out there. Say often, “I’m wonderful,” and “I’m beautiful,” and “I’m God’s child,” and “God has a great plan for my life!”
It’s not only water. Dr. Emoto also experimented with cooked rice.
He placed one cup of cooked rice in two airtight jars. On one jar, he wrote, “I love you,” and on the other, “You fool.” Everyday for 30 days, Dr. Emoto would say these words to each jar of rice.
After 30 days, the “I love you” rice was still white. But the “You fool” rice was so rotten, it was black. How can you explain this?

I don’t know how accurate this research is, but what I’m sure of is what the word of God says in Proverbs 18:21
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

We need to watch not only what we say to our kids, but what they say to themselves as well.

Let’s manage our time…

TIME MANAGEMENT by Mark Conner

Do you ever feel like there just isn’t enough time in the day? I sure do. In fact, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are enough things to to do to fill multiple lifetimes! Yet, after only 3 1/2 years of ministry, Jesus said, “It is finished!” How could he say that? Because he knew what he was called to do and he focused solely on that. What a lesson for us today.

Below is a summary of some of the things I’ve learned about time management over the years. Actually, ‘time management’ is a misconception because time really cannot be managed, at least not the way other resources can. We cannot manage time. We can only manage ourselves in relation to time. We cannot control how much time we have; we can only control how we use it. We cannot choose whether to spend it, but only how. Once we’ve wasted time, it’s gone – and it cannot be replaced. Better management of ourselves in relation to time has many positive benefits – less stress, greater balance in life, increased productivity and the achievement of our goals.

Here are 6 tips that have helped me, with a few thoughts on each:

Tip #1 – Know Your Priorities

• Know everything you’re supposed to do and in order of importance.
• Determine your priorities – what must you do? What is required of you? Priorities tend to slip or drift if we don’t regularly focus on them.
• Prioritise your projects: (a) do it now – move it to the front of the line, (b) do it later – move it to the appropriate place, (c) don’t do it – move it to the waste paper basket, (d) delegate it – move it to the proper person.

Thoughts on Priorities:

• “Doing the right things is just as important as doing things right.”
• “Some tasks are never going to be urgent, even though they may be extremely important. Other tasks may never be important, but they will be urgent. The key is to identify your vital activities and infuse them with a sense of urgency, so that they can compete with the activities that have a natural sense of urgency built into them. Until we apply urgency to important events, nothing happens.”
• “Insignificant events often hinder us from doing really important matters. We don’t always do those things that are most important to us. Until you say ‘No’ to the unimportant you will never say ‘Yes’ to the important. Important things are seldom urgent, unless we make them so. Place an urgency factor on them. Why do we eat every day – hunger provides the urgency factor. Put first things first and keep them there.”
• “Deciding what NOT to do is as important as deciding what to do. The question is not, ‘Will my day be full?’ but ‘What will fill my day?’ Fill your calendar with priorities – the things which are important.”
• “The enemy of the ‘best’ is often the ‘good’.”

Tip #2 – Get Organised

• Know where everything is. Have a place for everything (a good filing system) and keep everything in its place. Have everything filed and able to be found when you need it.
• Keep your desk tidy. Take all your papers, sift through them, sort them and put them somewhere.
• Keep clutter (mental and emotional) out of your life.

Tip #3 – Plan Ahead

• Set aside regular time to think and plan.
• Keep a “Master List” of tasks to be done (organised by date and priority).
• Put your priorities on your calendar. Determine the time you have available to do your important tasks. What are the top projects you are doing this month and how long will they take? Identify, organise and schedule your work.
• Plan tomorrow’s work today. Organise the next day at the end of the current day. When you arrive, you will already know what to do. Have a plan for each day and write it down.
• Use the last day of each month to plan and lay out the priorities for the next month.
• Keep a yearly calendar with important events, appointments and deadlines. Have a weekly schedule and a daily agenda (task list).

Thoughts on Planning:

• “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
• “Planning is not only a type of work, it is the most efficient type of work. Better planning means better execution of the work.”
• “Today’s actions determine tomorrow’s achievements.”
• “Plan on the front end – it’ll pay on the back end.”
• “Planning your day, rather than allowing it to unfold at the whim of others, is the single most important piece of the time management puzzle.”
• “A daily plan, in writing, is the single most effective time management strategy, yet not one person in ten does it.”

Tip #4 – Work Smart!

• Work on your important tasks first.
• Schedule important work in your most productive hours. Maximise the first 2 hours of the day.
• Follow your plan for the day.
• Learn to combine similar activities.
• Always allow extra time. Things take longer than you think – add at least 50%.
• Expect problems – motion causes friction.
• Expect interruptions. Be flexible.
• Get ahead when the pressure is off.
• Avoid time wasters. Personal time wasters (caused by me) include: lack of self-discipline, procrastination or indecisiveness, disorganisation (looking for lost things), daydreaming, inability to say “No”, failure to delegate, inadequate planning, attempting too much and distractions (unimportant things). Professional time wasters (caused by others at the workplace) include: telephone interruptions, drop in visitors, some meetings, poor communication, crises, poor planning, and too much socialising.

Thoughts on Working Smart:

• “Busyness isn’t necessarily effectiveness. Work smart, not just hard.”
• “Intersperse pleasant tasks with hard ones. Some tasks are boring, others are exciting. Some tasks are demanding, others are easy. Some tasks are draining, others are replenishing. Some tasks are old, others are new.”
• “On average, people can save up to two hours a day through better time habits.”

Tip #5 – Be Disciplined

• Do it now! Focus on your important work and just do it.
• Start that project now. Many people never start a project because they don’t have time to finish it. Don’t worry about finishing. Just get started. Work on projects ahead of time.
• Break large tasks into small ones. We cannot do everything at once but we can do something at once. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
• Stop stewing and start doing. Defeat procrastination.
• Get unpleasant duties out of the way as soon as possible.
• Value progress more than perfection – very little will be accomplished unless you go ahead and do it before you’re ready. There are two kinds of people – “I won’t do it until it’s right” and “I’ll do it until it’s right”.

Thoughts on Discipline:

• “The day before a long holiday, everyone gets twice as much done. We stop stewing and start doing.”
• “If it were not for the last minute, a lot of things would never get done. Deadlines make us work harder!”
• “God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things … Right now I’m so behind that I will never die!”
• “We tend to evaluate all decisions based on whether we believe they will bring us pain or pleasure. Procrastination is caused by our perception that doing a certain tasks will cause us pain. We tend to avoid events which are unpleasant, complex, lengthy, or uninteresting, regardless of their priority.”

Tip #6 – Evaluate Yourself Regularly

• Have a weekly time of evaluation. Look back over the last week and assess your productivity. Did you get your priorities done? Where did you waste time?
• Be aware of what you’re doing with your time – what are you doing and how long does it take? Do a periodic personal time analysis.

Thoughts on Evaluation:

• “Keeping score is the only way to know if you’re winning or losing.”
• “Most people are busy looking for the next quick fix idea without taking the time to follow up on the things they already know.”
• “Spend ten times as much time following up what you just learned as you did on the initial training. Otherwise you will revert to your initial behaviour within a short period.”

Conclusion

Here is an important principle from the apostle Paul’s regarding life management:  “Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise, but as wise, sensible and intelligent people. Making the very most of the time – buying up each opportunity – because the days are evil. Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish but understand and firmly grasp what the will of the Lord is (Eph.5:15-17. Amp NT).”

From today until the end of your life, you’ll spend your time doing something. Invest it in things that matter for eternity.