CUSTOMIZED PARENTING by Steven Furtick
I was recently meeting with a pastor and he shared an idea about parenting from the verse that’s been read at probably every baby dedication or parenting series you’ve ever been to:
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6
He told me that in the Hebrew, it literally translates “Train a child according to his way.” I checked it out and it’s legit.
The implication is that this verse isn’t simply about giving our children good structuring or sound instruction. Or negatively, about training them up to go in the way we desire. It’s also about customizing our approach to our children based on their unique DNA and gift set.
Many people are familiar with strengths-based leadership and the fact that the most effective leaders are those that focus and invest in their people’s strengths. But fewer people realize that this applies to our first and primary sphere of leadership: our families. And specifically, our children.
Instead what often happens is that we think a one-size fits all approach will work for every child everywhere, including ours. Or that the goal of parenting is to produce a well-rounded individual, so we focus on making their weaknesses mediocre rather than their strengths phenomenal. Or worse, we want our children to have our strengths, or ones we wish we had.
The problem is that your child is unique on purpose. They have their own God-given strengths and aptitudes. And it’s these that you need to call out and encourage.
I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating: Mediocrity is mass-produced. Destiny and excellence are custom designed.
The catch is that’s not only true with you. It’s also true with your children.
You are a peculiar person. There will never be another you.
But your child is also a peculiar person. There will never be another of them either.
God doesn’t intend for your child to be like everybody else. He already had everybody else when He made them. There’s something unique in your child. Something special. Significant. God has a calling on their life. There are exceptional abilities that only they have.
Your role as a parent is to identify and maximize them. Not change them or flatten them out. Or accommodate them to yours.
Train up your children in their strengths and they will discover the purpose for which they were created. And when they grow up, they will not depart from it.
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Steven Furtick is the Senior Pastor of Elevation Church.
